Finding Emotional Balance in Early Recovery

Feelings are rampant in early recovery. Fear is a big and powerful part of emotional imbalance. So are sorrow, anger, remorse, guilt, and general feelings of free-floating anxiety about what will come, what has gone happened during active addiction, and what is going to happen as a result of these situations.

It may seem that all of your emotions are present at once, making their presence known in different ways. It is possible that sleeplessness and tension will manifest because the calming influence of medication is eliminated in recovery. It feels like it will never end, but it usually does and it usually will. How does one get through the initial discomfort of emotional disregulation that is part and parcel of early recovery?

Learning to identify and talk about these feelings is the first step toward living with them. Historically, it was necessary to drown them in alcohol or shove them aside with drugs. It does not work, and now they have become overwhelming in their demands for attention. Talk therapy, even with an understanding and compassionate friend, is the beginning of welcoming feelings back into our experience. There is tremendous freedom in admitting that feelings are new to us and uncomfortable, even pleasurable ones. Learning to identify what is being felt can be an empowering and exciting new way of beginning as well.

Sayings in recovery settings, such as

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Triggers in Early Recovery

the recovering addict into thinking that may result in relapse behavior. From one addict to the next, these things will have similarities as well as differences, depending upon the person and the addiction.

Examples of situations or items that may trigger a relapse to alcohol use/abuse would be a time of day when the recovering addict would normally have their first cocktail or a time of day when they would begin their drinking behavior if a consistent pattern had been established. Another might be seeing a commercial on television portraying a particular favorite brand of wine, beer or alcohol. Scenes of drinking behaviors in movies or portrayed on television could also trigger that response, as well as certain objects that were significant in the drinking history of someone, such as a favorite martini glass or shot glass. Other triggers for recovering addicts can be the smell of a favorite beverage or driving by a bar or liquor store that was a favorite during their drinking days. Even driving in the same neighborhood or on the same street may bring up memories that are uncomfortable and difficult to contain.

For recovering addicts who used/abused drugs, it may be just as simple to be triggered by events or by seeing certain objects that are reminders of the old ways and behaviors. In those instances, it can be a lighter that was used for smoking marijuana, or a match strike that smells of sulphur for an addict who used matches to

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Dating in Early Recovery

As Valentine’s Day is upon us, we celebrate romantic relationships with cards and candy. However, relationships with a recovering addict takes a little bit more  consideration. While many people will come into their recovery experience within the parameters of a relationship, others will not. Many have divorced or separated from spouses due to their active participation in the addiction that brings them into recovery. Others will come into recovery single. Whatever stage of relationship you may be in, it will behoove you to learn the methods for dating at this time in your recovery. Even married addicts will find that they need to begin many aspects of their partnership or marriage on a new footing when they stop practicing an active addiction.

Regaining Your Emotional Balance

Emotional balance is difficult for the first several months, and begins to stabilize in time. However, the first months can be very uncertain for those who are feeling their emotions and learning to express them for the first time in many years. Active addiction robs each person the ability to participate in an emotional relationship with themselves, therefore with others as well. Addicts become so estranged from their own feelings that expression of them is impossible. Add drugs or alcohol to the mix, and there is little emotional experience for either partner. If they both drink or drug, they will both need to stabilize in their early recovery before they are available for emotional responses to their significant relationships.

Enter the single addict, who believes that they are ready for dating. Many treatment professionals will counsel that they remain outside a romantic involvement for the first year of recovery. This is a good idea, but few addicts will heed this admonition. Therefore, practicality suggests that there be guidelines set for them to follow in that vulnerable time. Although no recovering addict will admit their vulnerability, it exists just the same. Most consider themselves to be well on their way to lifelong abstinence. This is a scary time, because they are the last ones to recognize their own relapse indicators. One of the most powerful is becoming romantically entangled too soon into their recovery.

Things to Consider before Getting Back “Out There”

Since it will, most likely, take place, despite the counsel of wiser minds, here are a few pointers to follow when contemplating the romantic realm of dating:

If dating another recovering addict, be sure that you are clear on the idea of drinking and drugging. Being new to the recovery world is a drawback, because it is difficult to find activities within a safe range to participate in when abstinent. Be sure that your date does not include going to parties or bars where alcohol and/or drugs are going to be circulating. The discomfort of being with a new person and uncertain about the feelings brought up in this situation can easily lead one to drink or drug to

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Anonymity in Early Recovery

After a period of time in recovery, a balance can be struck in understanding when to divulge their recovery to others and how much information to give in various settings. This can be confusing for newly recovering addicts, who vacillate between yelling it from the rooftops and hiding it from everyone, lest they think less of them.

It is not unusual that they would be very excited and proud about their early recovery and abstinence and want to tell everyone they know that they have finally succeeded in overcoming their addiction. This is a very common response to early recovery for those who are experiencing it for the first time. The problem lies in the anonymity that is a vital part of the 12-step programs, which are all

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